


Parallels: Dancing on my Own

by shadowstone



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe?, M/M, Mentions of Donna, Mentions of twelfth doctor, Other, Parallel time-lines, Universes as in more than one, character death (sort of), tenth doctor (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 14:56:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10467657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowstone/pseuds/shadowstone
Summary: To spend eternity with a Doctor who finally loves him or To give it all up and save the Universes.There was really only one choice, wasn't it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this was lying in my Hard Drive for a long time and I thought might be time to finally dust it off and post it up. First time actually posting any Doctor Who fanfiction online so please be kind! ^ ^
> 
> I wrote this sometime in the middle of the Eleventh Doctor seasons so if there are any characterization discrepancies to the characters, I apologize. And yes I really adore Captain Jack and I'm still holding out hope that the Doctor would eventually cross paths with him again in the show. (I admit I haven't watched much of the twelfth doctor and the eleventh doctor seasons but a recent subscription to netflix will remedy this.) 
> 
> General disclaimers apply: All characters belong to the BBC and their creators.
> 
> *Italics are flashbacks

“I’m sorry.”

He looked up and glanced at him, all bow ties and floppy hair, eyes apologetic but his jaw set in firm determination.

He was, once again, struck by the fact at how different and yet similar the Doctor was in each of his regenerations.  The faces might change, the clothes might change (bow ties, seriously?) but there was always that air of wistfulness and sadness in his eyes. Like a man who has lived too long and seen too much.  And he did, didn’t he? They both have.

 “Are you?”  

He glanced at the other’s face searchingly, only to tear himself away with a self-deprecating smile at what he found.

Sometimes he really hated himself.

The Doctor could be dressed to the nines in some weird colourful ensemble or even sport the face of the man who had once destroyed his world, and yet every incarnation of him still never fails to take his breath away. Well, some regenerations evidently more than so it seems, he smiled wistfully as he remembered leather jackets and canvas shoes.

He sighed deeply, shaking off his thoughts. This was not the time to indulge in his complicated history – or future- with the other. Timelines are really such pesky little things.  Always creeping up on you and messing with your head. But it does bring with it wonderful surprises at times. Like the man lying in his arms right now.

“Doesn’t matter anyway”

Ruffling through his lover’s hair, he gazed fondly at the man sleeping peacefully on his lap. He had on his favorite pinstripes suit and pair of green canvas shoes.  Foxy, he recalled him saying once. 

“Jack…”

The Doctor made a move towards him but fell into silence when he met his eyes.

He truly did not expect this to be the outcome when he had come for Jack.  It was supposed to be a quick grab-and-snatch, no fuss now come along and Geronimo! Off they go.

Yet it seems, to save the Universe, their real Universe, he had to hurt Jack.

Again.  

He had always treated him poorly, first at the Game-station, then on Utopia and finally with the 616.

But this, the Doctor bit his lip, this was worse than all of those combined. He wondered if he had finally done it, finally pushed away the loyal Captain to a point of no return.

And he would have deserved it.

As if sensing his apprehension, Jack looked up at him and smiled wryly. There was none of the expected anger or hatred in the Captain’s eyes. Instead there was only a quiet resignation with a twinge of regret.

“The year that never was...” Jack explained. “This is just an upgrade, the Universe that never was.” He laughed dryly but there was no mistaking the sadness and resignation that echoed in his laughter and in his eyes. Sad eyes which belied his weariness and of a man who had experienced true happiness only to have it ruthlessly snatched away.

 “I’m sorry.” The Doctor could only offer helplessly. If he had known… he grimaced, would that really have changed anything? No, he shook his head, with a pang of guilt in his hearts. It was the only way and they had to do it.  The fate of the Universes hung in the balance.

 Jack had understood and was willing to follow through with the plan once he realized that there was no other alternative.  It was a surprise then, when it was the other him who wouldn’t, couldn’t, accept it.

Looking at their interlinked hands, at how tightly the other him held on to Jack despite of what was happening to him -

And now he could see why.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry.”

The Doctor’s words echoed emptily in his ears.

Truth be told, he wasn’t willing to let go. How could he?

He had finally found salvation and true happiness with the one person he wanted most in the Universe, who had actually wanted him back as well. It was everything he had hoped for and more.

It hadn’t matter that he wasn’t his Doctor and he wasn’t the Jack he knew.

This Doctor, his doctor, accepted him and loved him. They had fought, they had cried, they had even hurt each other but through it all, the love they had shared simply grew stronger. It was beyond any relationship either of them had before and knew they will ever have again.

 “Jack… you know I wouldn’t ask this of you unless there was no other way.” The Doctor’s words were apologetic and sincere. In another place, in another time he would have given anything to hear these words from him but now, he would have given everything he had to not have them.

The saddest part of it all was that he understands. He truly did but that doesn’t mean that he had to like it. Love could never be the only thing for them. Duty had always had a hold on them and was a large part of who they are.

“I know. Never doubted you, never will, remember?” Jack repeated the words which were said so many lifetimes ago in another universe with another him. When he was just a con-artist, a rogue Time-Traveler whose life was forever changed when he fell in love.

“He was truly happy, you know.” Jack murmured quietly. Caressing his lover’s face, his eyes shone with love as memories flooded him. “We both were.”

“We were brilliant. Some might even say Fantastic.” He chuckled lightly at the catchphrase. It had always been a sort of inside joke for the both of them.

 

* * *

 

_“I’m not the Jack you know”_

_“I know” He stepped forward and caressed his face. “But I also got to know the this you. This Jack who is not my Jack but Jack from another reality. I wonder how many Jacks I can say in a sentence.” He grinned at the slight eye-roll of Jack at his rambling and then brought his lips within a breath of Jack’s and continued softly. “And I can’t deny what my hearts are telling me.”_

_“Doctor…” Jack breathed. He had wanted this for so long and so badly that he couldn’t believe that it was actually happening._

_“So you are going to buy me that drink” He prodded his chest and stated a matter-of-factly._

_“So much work!” Jack groaned loudly but his eyes were twinkling in amusement as the familiar banter brought back memories of their respective counterparts in their own Universe._

_The Doctor leaned in, grinned widely and finally, finally brought their lips together._

_“But worth it~”_

 

* * *

 

_“Who’s to say this Universe is not important? It could very well be that this is the reality that should survive and to hell with the other!”_

_“Doctor! This is not what you really believe, do you?” He replied softly, gathering the angry Timelord in his arms, trying to calm his lover. They had retreated into their Tardis to speak when the Doctor from his Universe came bearing the news that Jack had to end this time anomaly._

_The Universe which they were in had to be destroyed._

_“But it’s not fair! Not when she brought you to me.”_

_“I know. I know…”_

_“It’s not fair” His voice hitched and he buried his head in Jack’s neck. “It’s just plain unfair!”_

_The Doctor finally allowed himself the breakdown he had been stalling ever since they found out what had happened. The day when their worlds came crashing down and broke his hearts into pieces._

 

* * *

 

_The winds were gathering in speed, howling and shrieking as it danced around them. Even in the sanctuary of the Tardis, they can hear the Universe screaming in pain, struggling to stay alive as the fabrics of time collapsed within itself._

_“No Jack!” His eyes widen in disbelief and then in pain. “Don’t you dare ... Don’t you dare!”_

_“Please don’t … please…”  Don’t bear this burden for the rest of eternity. It will destroy you. His hearts wept with the guilt and suffering his Jack would endure for the rest of his life and he couldn’t bear for him to live through that. The destroyer of worlds – he knew how that felt and he would never want him to know that._

_“I have to, Doctor.” The despair and sadness in his voice broke his hearts all over again. “There’s no other way.”_

_“You can’t!” He struggled to stay awake, fully understanding that this might very well be the last time he would see his lover, but the drug was too powerful. The other him had concocted the sleeping drug himself after all. He burned with anger towards him. He had no right to… to…_

_“I don’t want to go!”_

_“I know.”  Jack finally let the tears he had been holding back fall down his face. The panic, betrayal and hurt on the Doctor’s face overwhelmed him and he struggled to get a hold of himself. It took everything he had not to just grab him and run off. He was, after all, effectively killing the man he loves. “I know. I don’t want you to go too.” But they had no choice. He had no choice._

_Clutching Jack’s right hand tightly in his, the Doctor willed his eyes to stay open longer so that he could burn his face into his memory._

_“Jack, I love you.” He wanted to say more, to tell him that it wasn’t his fault and that he had already forgiven him for his actions and that he wants him to be happy, to love again but he simply had no more strength.  His heartbeats were slowing and darkness was sweeping in on him._

_The last words he heard before he fell into darkness were the words “I love you too” and a single tear slid from his eyes. Oh Jack… my Captain…my love…_

* * *

 

“He won’t be in pain?”

“None of them will be. Time will simply just stand frozen for them.” The Doctor didn’t mention that the one person who would be in pain the most would be Jack himself.

“Okay.” He replied shakingly and after taking a deep breath, the words came out more forcefully. “Okay then.”

Lightly caressing the sleeping doctor’s face, Jack pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry for choosing the timelines over you. I’m sorry for betraying you but I couldn’t let you go against everything you stood for just because of me. I’m so sorry.”

“I love you.” Jack whispered.

Standing next to him, The Doctor’s eyes widened as he recognized the tongue the words were spoken in – Gallifreyan.  He had suspected but did not realized, up to that point, the extent of the intimacy shared by the two and how deep a bond actually ran between them.

Gently pressing his lips to his Doctor for one last kiss and carrying him inside his Tardis, Jack silently said a final goodbye and rose up, his strong legs striding towards the other into the other Tardis, never once looking back.

The Universe screeched as it was swallowed by darkness. Howling as it tried desperately to cling on to the fading light. Called out in vain to the Fact that could save her.

The Tardis dematerialized.

 

* * *

 

“Doctor!”

Clara shouted as she started running towards them. She had been impatiently waiting for the Doctor ever since he left her in Cardiff, muttering about time-lines and Universes and a certain Captain who had to be so annoyingly charismatic that even the Universe, the Universe!, wanted him.

“Hello! You must be the Doctor’s new companion.” Jack smiled and stretched out his hand. “I’m Captain Jack Harkness … at your service.”

The Doctor glanced at him in wonderment. The journey back had been quiet. Jack had looked so broken when he followed him back into the Tardis and yet now there was still a tiny spark of resiliency and life resonating from him.

It was at that point that he finally understood why she chose him. It takes someone special to handle the power and consequences of immortality and Jack was special alright, so special that he could always take whatever he dished out to him and still be willing to stand by his side.

_“Never doubted you, never will.”_

The Doctor lowered his eyes. You should Jack, you really should.

Of all the people he had hurt - had left behind – Jack had always been the one who had never stopped believing in him, who had wanted more from him but never pushed, always accepting whatever scraps of acceptance he threw in his way.

He really was an awful Doctor to him. 

But perhaps-maybe- there was still time to make things right? 

“Jack?” He suddenly called, interrupting the flirting, if you can even call it that – the Doctor could tell that his heart wasn’t in it – between Clara and the Captain.

“Come with me?”

That was the very least he could do after everything he had forced upon the Captain.  Perhaps it was time to start afresh. He had seen the possibilities in the Universe that never was.

Both Jack and Clara turned in surprise at his words and stared at him.

“You want me to come with you again?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes, it will just be like the ol’times. Well, not really old times, time is never old. I wonder why they say that… hmm… old times but never new time?”

Jack chuckled at the familiar ramblings of the Doctor. Some things really do never change.  And for a man destined to live forever, that was comforting.

Looking at the Doctor fondly, Jack leaned forward and whispered into his ear.

The leaves rustled as a gust of strong wind suddenly breezed past, swallowing the words that were to be his answer to the Doctor’s invitation.

The Doctor stood frozen as Jack stepped back and waited. There was a pained and guilty expression on his face.

Jack laughed sadly. He had his answer.  

 “Guess not.”

“Jack … I…”

Jack cut him off. “It doesn’t matter, does it? It never has.” He saluted the Doctor.

“Goodbye Doctor. Don’t be a stranger.”  

“Clara. It was nice meeting you.” Jack winked at Clara as he activated his Vortex Manipulator. “Kiss the Doctor for me, will you?”

Then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor danced about, flickering and pressing buttons, moving about with an almost maniacal glee as he was in his element, all cares seemingly forgotten as he started the Tardis for their next destination.

Clara knew better. She had seen the Doctor’s flash of regret and fear in his eyes as the Captain leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Try as she might, she couldn’t hear what was being said but she knew it was something that had badly rattled the normally affable Doctor.

She wondered if she should say something.

Staring at the (obviously faking it) overly cheerful and excited Doctor in front of her, she hesitated.  Whatever it was, it was between the two of them.  She could feel the Tardis humming in approval at her thoughts. 

Huh. The Tardis seemed to be protective of this mysterious Captain as well. Interesting.

Clara hoped that their paths will cross again, the Captain was rather dashing after all. Glancing back at the Doctor who was still rambling on about their next destination, her eyes softened. Preferably sooner than later.

 “Right! Lock on to Planet Grryuthn!  Have you ever been there, Clara? They serve some of the most fantastic pudding in the Universe and I should know. I’ve ate plenty! Puddings I mean, although fish-fingers and custard are still the best. Why, I remember even the Captain once telling me how he actually stole a crateful of them on a passing ship …”

His hands stilled at the controls when he realized what he had just said.

The Captain.  Jack.

_“Goodbye Doctor. Don’t be a stranger.”_

It had hurt. More than he thought it would to see the Captain walking away from him.

It was foolish of him to think that he could sweep everything underneath a rug and start over. Not with what he did. And certainly not with what he didn’t do.

He sighed. Why was it always so complicated with Jack? It just seems that that whatever he did with the Captain always ended up with Jack being hurt.   

He missed Donna. Donna, who would most definitely slap him now and tell him to get his crap together and then force him to go find Jack to apologize. But Donna was gone now and he would never get her back.

_“After all he has done for you…how could you do this to him? You heartless bastard! What’s the point of having two hearts when you can’t even use one of them?!”_

He could still remember the anger and despair from the other him in the dying Universe after Jack had made his choice.  He had dismissed it as anger for destroying his world. Understandable, really. He would have felt the same way if he was in his shoes, which he was actually a lifetime ago. He had missed the canvas shoes.

It wasn’t until the words Jack had whispered into his ear did he fully comprehend the despair and anger – no not anger – sorrow of the other him.

For Jack.

For the Doctor standing in his Tardis now.

_Looking fondly at the Doctor, Jack leaned in and whispered into his ears._

_“Could you love me the way he loves me?”_

_“Would you be able to love me?”_

He trembled as he finally, finally understood what the other him was trying to tell him, his two hearts beginning to ache with an intensity he had never thought possible.

A simple No. A simple Yes. Only it was never simple, was it?

Because Jack will never love another like he did with the other him.

Because the Doctor now knew the answers to those questions and it was too late.

 “I’m sorry.”

He truly am.

But it was too late.

The Tardis dematerialized.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the background of the story if you are interested: 
> 
> Jack got sucked in to a parallel universe (one of many) because it was dying and a FACT could help to sustain it. He just happened to be at the right place at the right time when the cusps of the two universes were touching, maybe due to an event caused by the Doctor. (Okay, if this doesn't make sense just see it as as a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff :) ) 
> 
> But because this was not a natural event, it has thrown all the time-lines into disarray and the Doctor (11th) has to fix it, has to get Jack back to where he should be. The problem was in that parallel universe, Jack had established a life with the Doctor (10th) and they have become lovers and partners after surviving the Year that never was in THAT Universe which was slightly different to that of the one in his original universe. 
> 
> At some point in time, this was to be a series. Like how Jack ended up meeting the 10th Doctor of the parallel universe or how eventually the Doctor might still make it work with Jack. It might still be a series. Thank you for reading! Comments are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Oh and well, if you are into those sort of things, Planet Grryuthn is pronounced as Grr-you-teen-ing :)


End file.
